Toxic
by nijocelyn
Summary: The Viper Alchemist was known for being slippery as a snake and as venomous as a viper, hence her title. She knew all about poisons and weapons and downright killing, but she never knew that friendship would be the most toxic thing she would ever come across.


**So, this is the first anime fanfiction I'm attempting to write. Fullmetal Alchemist is my favorite anime, so at some point this chapter was created.**

 **Disclaimers: This is going to be based off the Fullmetal Alchemist: Brotherhood plot. Obviously, I don't own FMA, so all rights go to Hiromu Arakawa. And SPOILERS, of course.**

 **I hope you guys enjoy!**

* * *

I twirled a dart around in my fingers absentmindedly as I sat there, doing nothing but blocking out as many noises as I can. Bored, I threw the dart into the air, catching it between two fingers as it fell. I tossed it again, this time, higher. I watched it twirl through the air, the light catching on the pointed end. I caught it by the base, holding it with gentle fingers. I sighed, looking up from under my hood. I did another quick scan of my surroundings out the window. I sat in a chattery bar, only accompanied by a cup of tea. The mildly busy street created a cacophony of noises—honks, yells, clangs, footsteps, but nothing was more important than the bank straight ahead.

Without looking away from the street, I threw the dart, lodging it into the dartboard. I vaguely heard the bartender compliment my skills, but I ignored him. I had spotted something.

Earlier this day, I had been assigned to find a specific alchemic burglar. The man was only known as Chameleon and was an expert in the art of disguise using alchemy. He was similar to another case I read about, where the burglar was a female alchemist going by the name is Psiren. They both would announce their next heist to the world before performing. Chameleon did just so the previous day, stating that he would rob the Stringers Bank, so here I was, watching this place like a hawk. But there was one big reason why they had stationed a State Alchemist like me to capture him—the sniveling rat had a preference to killing.

I watched with interest as a few blue-clad officers ran out of the building, talking into their radios. I raised a brow and stood up. I tossed a couple hundred cens on the table and left the bar, heading towards the frantic looking officers. I walked up to the closest one, grabbing him roughly by the collar. I gave all the guards a small glance of my State Alchemist's watch I hid and regarded at the one in front of me harshly.

"What happened?" I demanded.

"Well . . . um, ma'am, we received a report saying that someone spotted, uh . . . Chameleon just outside the bank and—"

"You morons, no one knows how he looks like. How do you think anyone would "spot" him?" I said coldly, giving his jacket a quick jerk. I scoffed. Is this what the military is coming to? Even a normal civilian could have figured it out.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw someone enter the bank. Someone who kept on looking in our direction too much. I immediately came to a conclusion. Chameleon must've got his hands on another officer's radio and used it to lure these specific ones out. Then he could easily slip in, disguise as a guard himself, and make his way to the prize. I silently groaned in frustration, whether at the soldier's incompetence or Chameleon's general existence, I wasn't sure. I let go the man, looking him in the eye.

"What's your name . . ." I asked and then paused to glance at the stars and markings on his shoulder, "Major?"

He stiffened and stood up straighter. "Major Gabriel Hart."

"Well, you're demoted, Hart. That soldier inside can take your place. At least he had the common sense to not leaving his post," I said, my gaze harsh as I pointed at the man stationed inside. The poor guy in front of me looked absolutely stricken, gaping in disbelief and wanting to protest, but not wanting to risk further punishment. I turned away from him, chuckling quietly to myself. He really is an idiot. I can't demote anyone unless I want to go through a very annoying process of writing a report on why. Ordinary men are so easy to fool.

I marched towards the bank entrance, pulling off my hood and mask that covered the lower half of my face. My dark red hair spilled from underneath it, shining like spilled blood. I blew the bangs in front of my face out of the way and pushed the door open. Let the show begin.

My eyes zoomed in on the only man who had entered since those airheads abandoned their post. But he wasn't the businessman he walked in as anymore. He was disguised as one of the officers outside. I smirked. The only mistake he made was forgetting to perfect the design of his glasses—they were black, unlike the navy-colored pair one of the officers had. Well, that and how I could see the nearly unnoticeable and novice transmutation marking left near the bottom of his boots.

From the looks of it, the Chameleon hasn't figured out I was already on to him. He must have been too far away to hear what we were talking about and assumed I was just some angry citizen and a convenient secondary distraction. I continued to act the part, walking up to the line behind the reception with an extra amount of force in my steps. I crossed my arms, glaring at everything.

The criminal walked up to the only guard left in the room, who looked at him, confused. "What are you doing back in here? Didn't they say the burglar was outside?"

"It was a false alarm. No one knows how he looks like after all," he replied. I nearly scoffed out loud. This idiotic criminal even knew.

I continued to listen as the line got shorter.

"Well, that's what I thought. It was suspicious to begin with. Let's go check out the vault just in case," the other man suggested. I was tempted to bang my head against a table. Stupid humans. Too bad I'm a human too.

I watched as Chameleon nodded in agreement and followed behind the guard towards the back door. I gritted my teeth in frustration. I needed something to stop them. I sighed in defeat, knowing I had to do something along the lines of humiliating.

I looked the two of them and yelled in a ridiculous voice, "Wait, that guy has a weapon! I saw a gun tucked in his jacket! He must be Chameleon!" and I pointed at a random guy standing in front of me, who opened his mouth in protest.

The first soldier jumped forward without a moment's hesitation. The real Chameleon frowned but followed anyway. I smirked and stalked up next to them as they apprehended the poor guy. I pretended to be relieved.

"Thank you! I was so worried! What if he hurt someone!" I said dramatically

The real officer eyed me dangerously. "This man has no weapon."

"Right you are, corporal," I said, dropping the act. "I was just leading the real Chameleon here."

I clapped my hands together and grabbed Chameleon's sleeve. I transmuted his appearance back to normal, revealing him to the room. His disguise melted off, and he was shown to be a thin, black-haired man, specifically wearing long knives on both sides of his belt. The burglar, realizing he was now caught, ran for it. I sprinted after him, clapping my hands together again and put them to the ground, creating sharp stones shaped like arrow tips. They shot out of the ground and narrowly missed the culprit, who dodged them uneasily. So it seems that he isn't an expert in combat, being a killer or not. I ran after him as he left the bank, jumping over and around obstacles with more grace than he did. I leaped over a car and was an arm's reach away, but I never got a chance to make my move.

I heard it before it came—a loud, echoing clap. Right after the sound rang through my ears, I was blasted into the air before I had a chance to move. I struggled as I was catapulted away from my target and landed face-first onto the top of a parked car. A normal person was be groaning in pain from the impact. A normal person would definitely not be laying there, rolling their shoulders like they were just slightly discomforted. But alas, I was not a normal person. The agony never came. It never did.

I lifted myself off the car and propped myself on my arms. With a scowl on my face, I looked at the man that attacked me, ignoring the bystanders staring in surprise. I blinked a few times and frowned. Where the hell is that bastard?

I turned my head left and right repeatedly, still spotting no one. I sat up a little straighter. And then I heard a little voice from seemingly no where. "I'm right here, goddammit!"

I looked down towards the left door of the vehicle, and standing there was a kid. "Wha—oh. I was alchemy-pummel by a midget. My day just keeps getting better."

"Who're you calling a micro-organism so tiny that no one even knows it exists?" she—wait, no, that's a he—shouted, making me frown.

"I never . . . said . . . that." I muttered in reply. I analyzed him, going over the best way to take down the too-small alchemist. He looked sort of familiar somehow. His golden eyes had this fierce and angry look to them, and with his braided, blond hair and red, Flamel-symboled coat, I wasn't sure what to make of him, other than the fact he had a temper, but I could certainly use that to my advantage.

My gaze darkened as I lift myself of the car, somersaulting myself towards the boy, simultaneously kicking him in the face. He stumbled back and landed on the ground, rubbing his face, looking furious. Collective gasps sounded from the streets. On instinct, I clapped my hands together and then pressed then against the car, pulling out two, one-edged swords from the metal. My eyes glinted mischievously as my opponent looked at me in shock.

"You can transmute without a circle," he murmured, mostly to himself.

I chuckled. "Not so different from you, huh?" I said, recalling the clap I heard a few moments earlier. I'm willing to bet he didn't need a circle either.

I dove at him with my swords just as he avoided me, putting his hands together and transmuting a blade from . . . his metal arm? My eyebrows rose in surprise as he blocked my attack with his arm. _Automail_ , I confirmed as my each of my blades deflected off his elbow and forearm respectively. Now it was his turn to deal a blow.

He slashed at me, causing me to block with both swords. I scowled inwardly. With his metal limb, it made him stronger. I ducked down and kicked at his legs, only to make contact with metal. It confirmed my other suspicion from hearing his footsteps—he had a metal leg as well. But with advantages of artificial limbs comes the disadvantages. All I needed to do was to incapacitate his prosthetic arm, and he wouldn't be able to use alchemy. I would have the upper hand. I decided the best plan of action was to distract him before I took him out.

He pushed me backwards, causing me to tumble onto the ground. I rolled sideways to avoid his punch, launching myself upright in the process. I swung sideways with my right sword, only to catch onto the tail of his coat. Our weapons clashed once more as we rushed each other.

"So Chameleon, I never imagined you'd be a girl, or is that just another disguise?" the kid taunted. I, on the other hand, nearly slipped when he said 'Chameleon.' He had assumed I was the culprit. Retards. The world is full of retards.

"You," I started, not sure whether I should laugh or punch him face, "think _I'm_ the Chameleon? I'm a State Alchemist! And what does being a girl have anything to do with anything, you piece of—"

"You're a what?" he exclaimed, the force from his metal arm loosening.

I pulled my watch for the second time today, holding it up to his face. The boy just stared, robotically taking a similar silver watch out of his pocket. So that was what the chain was.

"Augh! Then we should be looking for the real Chameleon!" he said, ruffling his hair with his hands in frustration.

"I was running after him when you attacked! What in world made you attack me?" I retorted.

"You ran out of the bank, looking all suspicious with your dark clothing. What was I supposed to think?"

"I don't know! Maybe you should have considered looking at the other man running."

"I didn't see another man!"

"Of course, you couldn't. You're too short to see over cars!"

"What did you say?"

"That you're too—"

"Stop it, Edward! You too, lady!" a weird, echo-y voice shouted.

It was then when I noticed the metallic footsteps heading our way. I turned to a huge, armor-clad man running towards us. I didn't know whether or not to braced myself for another attack, but Edward, his name seemed to be, turned and gave the arriving figure an annoyed look.

"Everyone in the bank is safe," the stranger said, not even bending down to take a breather. "What are you doing just arguing? Shouldn't you be going after the Chameleon."

"I thought this girl _was_ the Chameleon. Turned out she wasn't. Then she started yelling at me," Edward responded, arms crossed.

I scoffed, "Liar. But your friend is right. The real burglar is getting away, and we need to do something about it."

I took off in the direction the Chameleon had escaped in, leaving the two strange guys to contemplate whether they should come along. They did.

I heard their offbeat footsteps behind me. The run was monotonous. Edward, being the shortest one, was quickly left in the back. The second man was heavier definitely, but he held up pretty well. There was something weird about the way his steps sounded, like there wasn't enough solidarity. I observed him out of the corner of my eye. The armor was incredible bulky and counterintuitive. Why would he wear something so awkward? It was like a big, clanky, extra layer of fat. Useless and unattractive. But I ignored the tiny fact. It wasn't my business. At least for now.

Then I heard his voice, high-pitched and warped. "What's your name?"

The question caught me off guard. "I don't like telling people my name."

We stopped at an intersection, unsure of where to go. I looked to the left, seeing that it was in slight chaos. A couple knocked over carts and boxes and angry people. It seemed like the right direction. Amateur escapist.

I gestured in the direction and began jogging again. The armored guy still insisted on speaking.

"My name is Alphonse Elric, but you can call me Al," he said, and I nearly tripped for the fiftieth time.

"Elric? As in the Elric Brothers?"

"Yeah. It may be hard to believe, but the small guy back there, Ed, is my older brother, the Fullmetal Alchemist."

"Well, isn't that just great?" I deadpanned. Without another word, I clapped my hands together, slamming them on a nearby lamppost and creating several needle-like darts. I took them in my hand and tossed them at the seemingly normal pedestrian on the sidewalk. He collapsed to the ground, unmoving, with a light _flop_. For the record, I didn't do it because I was insane.

Edward and Alphonse looked at me in horror. Or at least Al would be if I could see his face.

"You killed him! The guy was innocent!" Ed proclaimed, grabbing the sides of his head in disbelief.

"No and no. The needles only hit the nerves that paralyze him. And that's the Chameleon," I stated, putting my hands together and then placing them in the frozen man. His disguise faded away once again, revealing his true appearance, weapons and all.

Al looked at me, hopefully with awe. "How did you know that was him?"

"The same way I did before. He had a small transmutation marking left behind near the bottom of his foot. It makes me wonder how no one noticed that detail. But all in all, he was just a coward," I concluded.

The Elric brother turned and stared at each other, not knowing what to think.

"We should take him into custody now. And I would like a word with Colonel Mustang on why he decided not to tell me there was another Alchemist on the job," I said, pulling my mask back over my nose.

I flipped my hood over my head, which may or may not have been a bit dramatic, and turned my back to the boys. Something about those two were interesting. There was certainly something mysterious about them. I think I wouldn't mind figuring out the their story. I knew this had to start somewhere.

Before sneaking back into the shadows, I paused and smirked, uttering one short line, "I'm the Viper Alchemist by the way."

Yeah, I'm not a very subtle person.


End file.
